


Shelter

by adr3stia



Series: Chance and Necessity [4]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Happy Ending, M/M, Meltdown, Mental Breakdown, Panic Attacks, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, alexander has bad habits, im sorry, john is just worried
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:21:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25755040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adr3stia/pseuds/adr3stia
Summary: Alexander and John have a fight, and Alexander doesn't react well.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens
Series: Chance and Necessity [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1797478
Comments: 12
Kudos: 80





	Shelter

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CastielWho](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CastielWho/gifts), [buriedhopes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/buriedhopes/gifts), [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> This takes place shortly after they got engaged in Stuck with Me Forever. Please read the rest of the series before reading this part. I had this idea running through my mind for a while, and, on my last work, I had asked you guys if you had anything in particular that you wanted me to write. whenthetimecomes had asked to see more of Hercules and John's friendship, so I mixed my idea with their request.
> 
> Enjoy!!

John woke up to a warm, empty bed. He reluctantly opened his eyes to see a dull light coming from the corner of the room and the faint sound of typing. There Alexander sat, hunched over his computer, mumbling to himself as his fingers swiftly moved over the keyboard.

"What time is it?" He groggily asked.

"Three in the morning."

"Babe, why are you awake?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

John got up and approached Alexander, putting his arms around him. He stopped typing to swiftly stroke his arm. " _You_ woke me up, dumbass, now come back to sleep."

Alexander hummed. "Soon. There's this report that is due soon, and I want to get it done."

"When's it due?"

"A little over a week."

John smiled. "You have plenty of time. Get back to bed."

"I said, I won't take long. I can go in the kitchen if you want to sleep, I'm sorry I woke you."

"As much as I want to sleep, I care that you get some rest too. Just for a few hours, and then you can start working on it tomorrow. Please?"

Alexander sighed. "Just sleep and leave me alone."

John pulled back and stared at him, eyes wide. "Excuse me?"

He turned around to face him put his hands up defensively. "I didn't mean it like that. I'm just saying I have work to do. I can't stop now just because you think I need to sleep."

"Yes, you can. You have plenty of time to work on that report, and you _do_ need to sleep, it's not just my opinion."

"I can sleep later."

"You can _work_ later. You have your priorities mixed up." John sighed and wiped a hand on his face. "Why are you being so difficult about this?"

"Difficult?"

"Yes, Alexander, you're being difficult and stubborn even though I'm visibly right."

He stood up. "And you're blatantly ignoring the fact that I can do whatever the fuck I please."

" _You_ are blatantly ignoring the fact that I had to drag you to the hospital once because you overworked yourself to the point where you passed out! You either don't know your limit, or you like dancing over the line, and I don't like either scenario." He took a deep breath. "I just don't want to see you hurt again. Now please, just go to bed. You can work on it tomorrow, and the day after that, _and_ the day after that. You have a whole week." He went back to bed without another word. 

Alexander followed suit with a sigh and some grumbling. Minutes after he felt Alexander lying down next to him, John fell asleep, a smile on his face and an arm draped over him.

Alexander, on the other hand, could not bring himself to fall asleep.

Millions of thoughts ran through his head as he analyzed their conversation over and over.

_Were you even listening to yourself? How are you ever going to make it up to him?_

I don't know, I don't know.

_You burned the proposal card, you've taken him on countless dates, he doesn't like flowers...you're out of options. Might as well just move out._

And go where?

_I'd say to hell, but they probably don't want you there either. Seriously, you fucked up big time, dumbass. You told him to leave you alone - as if that's not a very likely possibility we try to avoid every day. You got incredibly defensive over something you had no chance nor interest in winning. Look at him, he's clinging to you like he thinks you might go back to work. You can't even get your fiancè to trust you because you're so obsessed with working. It shouldn't surprise you if you woke up to a half-empty closet and a ring on the kitchen table._

Stop it, he's not going to leave.

_Oh, so you're in denial now? Great. Face the facts, Alexander._

He loves me.

_You're making me laugh._

He loves me, he loves me...

Does he?

_My point exactly._

Alexander carefully got up, trying not to wake John. He went to the kitchen and got the coffee machine started, hoping to calm himself down.

_Think about it, Alexander. Even if he does love you now, do you seriously expect it to go on forever?_

He said so himself.

_Just wait until he discovers all the things that make you hate yourself so much, and it won't be long before he does so too._

Alexander desperately tried to quiet down his head by taking long sips of his coffee.

Of course, if he hadn't been so tired and desperate, he would have realized that coffee has a very different effect from what he hoped to achieve.

Of course, given that he was blissfully riding his high of paranoia, his instinct was to make more, and more, until he decided that nervously pacing around his kitchen wasn't satisfying.

So if you're wondering why there's a man aimlessly walking around the city at four-thirty am, eyes unfocused, mumbling under his breath, only his keys and three dollars in his pocket, well, here's your answer.

He'd long given up on trying to be aware of his surroundings, almost as if he wasn't even contemplating the possibility of going home.

Because he wasn't, not really. He was stubbornly refusing to come back to what he expected to be an empty house, so he kept on walking, stopping only to sit on a barely lit sidewalk that looked surprisingly nice. As soon as he sat down, he resorted that staying still was incredibly dull, only to get up again. That did not stop him from sitting down, only to almost immediately get up, every chance he got.

Definitely not a pleasant night indeed.

A few miles south, someone else wasn't exactly having a pleasant night, either.

Hercules had been blissfully sleeping when his phone had started buzzing. At first, he had ignored it, attempting to go back to sleep. 

When it went on and on, he finally picked up, answering groggily.

"What the fuck?"

John's panicked voice came through the speakers. "Herc, it's me."

"John? What is it? What time is it?"

"Six in the morning." Hercules groaned.

"What-"

"Alexander is missing." Hercules sat up.

"The fuck you mean he's missing?"

"We had a small fight, nothing too major, I thought we were okay when he went to bed. But then I woke up like half an hour ago, and he's gone, Herc, he left his phone here, no notes or anything, I have no idea where he could be, and I feel like I'm dying."

Hercules stopped for a second, trying to process the information. 

"I'll get Lafayette, we'll be there in five minutes. We'll figure out what to do together."

John mumbled something and hung up. Hercules rubbed a hand on his face, quickly got dressed, and woke his roommate up.

"Laf, we gotta go."

"Wha- Where's the fire?"

Hercules snorted. "There's no fire, Alexander is missing."

Laf turned around and furrowed in his covers. "Oh, thank God." He turned back to face Hercules and sat up. "Wait, _non, who-_ Our Alexander is missing?"

"Yes."

"Where is he?"

Hercules rolled his eyes. "That's the point, Laf, we don't know."

He got up and started getting dressed. "Then what are we waiting for? Let's go find him!"

Hercules stared at him in confusion before giving up and getting his keys. 

_I'm surrounded by idiots._

Five minutes later, they were knocking on John's door. He answered almost immediately, probably already waiting behind the door. Hercules almost cried at the sight of him.

His hair was pulled up in a too-tight ponytail that was definitely hurting his scalp, his face terrified like he had never seen him before. He swiftly pulled them inside, breathing deeply.

They sat down, and Hercules spoke up. "Tell us exactly what happened, John." He placed his hand on his arm in a soothing gesture. John retracted his arm and got up, starting to pace around the room, occasionally pinching his wrists or biting at his fingers. He started speaking softly but hurriedly. "I woke up a few hours ago to find him working again. I tried to tell him that he needed to sleep, and we had a little fight, but then he went to bed. I thought it was over, you know? I had gotten over it, I thought he had too, but then I woke up, and he wasn't there. So I thought, maybe he's making coffee since I could smell the coffee from the kitchen, and I find three empty cups on the table, Alexander's phone on the dresser and no sign of him."

They stayed silent for a moment before Lafayette got up. "We have to start searching for him. He can't have gone far. We should split up to cover up more ground. We'll go get our cars."

"No way." Hercules shook his head. "Laf, you go alone, I'm staying with John."

"Hercules, I'm fine. Lafayette's right, if we split up, we'll cover more ground, and we'll find him sooner."

"You're in no state to drive - or walk, for that matter."

"My main concern is that we find him as soon as possible. He could be hurt."

"Look, I'm worried about him too, but I can't risk you getting hurt. You're coming with me, and that's final."

John sighed and raised his hands in defeat. "Fine. Let's just go." 

Five minutes later, they were in John's car, driving in silence. They had decided Lafayette would head south, and they would head north.

John had insisted Lafayette would be on the phone with them the whole time, in case he found him first. Both Hercules and Lafayette had found it useless, but John was clear in specifying that, in that case, they would have sped through the whole town to get to him.

After half an hour of pointless searching, Hercules suddenly hung up the phone, much to John's disdain. "Herc, what the-"

"We're going to find him, John." He stayed silent.

"I mean it." He turned to face him, his expression softening when he saw how scared his friend looked. "I'm staying right here by your side, and we'll find him. Together."

"Can I ask you a question?"

He furrowed his brow. "Of course. Anything."

"Do you think that, if we do find him-"

"Not if, when."

" _When_ we find him...do you think he'll stay?"

His eyebrows shot up, confusion now evident in his expression. "The fuck you mean, do I think he'll stay?"

"I'm just saying," he started pinching his wrists. "The fact that he left doesn't exactly reassure me on the matter."

"You need _reassurance_ after he asked you to marry him?"

"That doesn't mean anything."

" _M_ _arriage_ doesn't mean anything?" Hercules was seriously starting to wonder where he had even found these people.

"People get divorced every day, be serious."

"John, that boy loves you more than he loves himself. You had a fight - it's normal. Every single couple fights from time to time. He said things he didn't mean, but that doesn't mean he loves you or wants to be with you any less."

"How can you be so sure?"

" _How-_ Are you serious right now?"

"I don't know, Herc! How would you feel if your fiancè just left in the middle of the night?"

He slowed the car and pulled over.

"Why are you stopping, we have to find him-"

"John." He said sternly. "Look at me." 

"Just start the damn car and let's go-"

"I'm not starting this car until you look at me." John sighed and turned to him, visibly holding back tears. "I know it's hard to think logically right now, but hear me out. While you were fighting, did _you_ say things you didn't mean?" He nodded. "Do you love Alexander any less?"

"Of course not."

"Then, why would he?" John didn't reply.

"Now, let's break down what happened next, he drank a ridiculous amount of coffee, and he left, on foot, without bringing any of his stuff. Does that sound like someone who had an _actual_ plan of leaving?"

"No."

When Hercules hugged him, John couldn't hold tears any longer. "I'm so scared, Herc, what if he's hurt?"

"It's going to be okay, John. We'll find him before he gets hurt, I promise." He stroked his back one more time before starting the car again, urgency in his gestures as he searched the streets.

"Stop the car, stop the damn car, _I see him_." John flew out of the car while it was still moving, leaving an astonished Hercules inside. He shot Lafayette a text, telling him Alexander was safe and sending their location, then he got out of the car.

Alexander was sitting on the sidewalk, staring at John in confusion and awe as he checked for injuries and held him tight.

"You came for me."

"Of course I did, are you alright?"

He nodded. "My head is spinning, but I'm okay. Are you angry?"

John shook his head. "No, baby, I'm not angry, I was so scared. Why did you leave?"

He looked away. "I thought you'd leave me, I didn't want to see you pack your things." He held his hand up, showing his keys. "I had my keys, I was waiting for you to wake up and leave before coming back."

"Why did you think I'd leave?"

"After everything I said, it's the least I deserve."

John took his face in his hands. "I'm not going anywhere."

"You say that now," he replied, looking away. "But in a few years - if I'm lucky - you'll see all my biggest flaws, and you'll leave me."

"I'm not going anywhere, now or ever. I love you for all that you are, and that's not changing, no matter how hard you try." He smiled.

"Even if I stay up until four to work on things I have all the time to work on?"

"Even so."

Alexander smiled. "I'm so sorry."

John nodded. "I know. I'm sorry too."

Alexander stared at him for a moment before softly speaking up. "Can I kiss you?"

John almost laughed. "You still need to ask?" Alexander shrugged.

John kissed him like he was starved for it. Truthfully, he felt like he was.

As soon as they broke apart, they heard tires screeching and a very agitated Lafayette coming out of a barely still car.

"Alexander, you massive idiot, come here!"

John burst out laughing as Lafayette hugged Alexander so tight he almost knocked him to the ground. Hercules slowly approached them as well, a small smile on his face. Alexander stared at them all, confusedly hugging Lafayette back as he murmured something in French. When they drew apart, Alexander stood up, only to be pulled in a rib crushing hug by Hercules. "I'm glad you're okay, man."

When Hercules let him go, Alexander softly spoke up. "I'm confused, were you guys worried?"

John laughed almost hysterically, draping his arm over Alexander's shoulder and getting in his car.

After profusely thanking both Hercules and Lafayette, as John drove home, all he could think of was how, no matter how messy it - _they_ \- got, he would always find shelter in Alexander. As he interlaced his fingers with Alexander's and, as he looked up at him and smiled, John knew he would go through a million nights like that, just to see him look so happy.

And if knowing that _he_ was the reason behind his smile made him even happier, well, who needs to know.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I hope this fulfilled your expectations. Comments are very appreciated, and don't hesitate to suggest other things you'd want me to write!
> 
> On another note, I might take a break from writing. I'll be back eventually, I just don't know when. See you all soon!


End file.
